Discovery of the Day

Six Steps to Developing Healthy Relationships at Dr. Paul White’s Blog.

Happiness is a good book…

…or is it? “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert is a book about a long pondered puzzle-what happiness is, and how best to pursue it. Humans have many illusions about happiness, and the author sets out to explain the reasons for the regular mistakes we make in the pursuit of it. In the forward, he says: “No one can say how you will feel when you get to the end of this book, and that includes the you who is about to start it. But if your future self is not satisfied when it arrives at the last page it will at least understand why you mistakenly thought it would be.”

The author is a professor of psychology at Harvard, and in the first chapter, proposes that the human being is the only animal that thinks about the future. Imagination is the most important achievement of the human brain. While living completely for the future might not be best, neither is living completely in the present, as anyone with damage to the frontal lobe could tell you. Imagining pleasant future events is pleasurable, and imagining unpleasant future events can minimize their impact.

We want to know what is likely to happen so that we can do something about it. Making things happen is a source of joy and a fundamental need. We want to steer the direction of our boat toward the future that looks better. The truth is that when we arrive at the future it will look different than the future we think we see now. There are illusions of eyesight, of hindsight, and also foresight-and all are explained by the same basic principles of human psychology. Just as memory fills in details that didn’t happen and leaves out details that did, imagination fills in details that won’t happen, and leaves out details that will. Finally, he offers a remedy that is not acceptable for most of us.

Happiness is not easy to define, as different people have different reactions to events. However, by the conclusion of the book, the author proposes that we are not as unique after all as we think we are. The best way to predict our own happiness is to get information from someone who has had the experience we are contemplating. But we almost never choose to rely on this method.

We are always busily predicting the future at least a little bit. It’s a pity we aren’t better at it. We generally have the welfare of our future selves in mind when we make choices in the present. If we deny ourselves a donut now, it is with the belief that we will appreciate being in better shape tomorrow. However, our future selves are quite likely to be critical of our present choices.

Our brains make errors in logic that lead us to continually predict incorrectly what will make us happy. While we are stuffed with mashed potatoes and turkey it is impossible to imagine ever being hungry again, even though we know it will surely happen. After childbirth, the memory of pain is quickly forgotten, misplaced by the joy of parenthood. When events do not go the way we had hoped, we are adept at rationalizing our view to make it less painful. On the other hand, the things we think will make us happy, often fail to meet expectations. Adversity often comes complete with positive as well as negative outcomes.

Does awareness of the faulty logic we employ make us any happier? Unfortunately, no. It seems we are incapable of imagining accurately, and unwilling to be guided by the opinions of others.

Discovery of the Day

Success Begins Today has just what I’ve been looking for: The Dieteer has printable cards to track calories and exercise in a portable format.

tv or not tv

I’ve been quiet for awhile as I’ve been dealing with television issues in one form or another. It all began when I finally decided to add local television stations to my satellite. I had postponed this for quite awhile, saving that extra 5 bucks a month. Well Hmmm. The only problem was it didn’t work. When I called DISH Network, a nice lady explained my satellite probably needed a free upgrade to receive them. (While on the phone with the nice lady I requested a new remote-more to follow as the saga continues.) Well, that sounded okay, so the guy came on Wednesday to switch it out. Said he hadn’t seen a satellite dish that old for awhile. Then he came inside to hook it up to the tv. Hmmm, that’s odd. No picture. I was puzzled as the tv had worked fine earlier. So I hauled down a small tv, and whadaya know it worked. Sadly, this meant my larger tv had coincidentally bit the dust. Dust, static electricity or just plain old age had brought to an end it’s years of faithful service. Meanwhile I was reduced to a small tv on the floor until I could go tv shopping.

That same day my new remote arrived. My old one had issues, you might say. The buttons were very difficult to push even with maximum effort, and the up arrow just flat-out quit a few years ago. That was the best 20 bucks I ever spent. Now I’m wondering what on earth took me so long to make the call.

So anyway, yesterday I enlisted the services of my son to go on a quest for a new tv. I needed his brawn to haul it and his brains to hook everything up. I found myself entranced by the elegance of the LCD tvs-so thin, so light-weight, so beautiful. I was smitten. We noticed a display model they were selling for 70 bucks less, so we took it home and spent a bit of time attempting to hook it up before conceding defeat and taking it back to the store and a huge line at the customer service desk. My poor son. Luckily the new one in the box we (meaning he) quickly ascertained had no problems and everything was clear skies and smooth sailing thereafter. I’ve spent most of today just admiring it.

The whole process did take some time. Lessons learned: a bargain isn’t a bargain if it doesn’t work. When things aren’t working well and don’t cost much to fix, for goodness sakes just do it! Making lasagna is a great way to thank son for hard work.

Development Plan

Performance Management

Maybe you are in a position that requires supervision of others, and want to encourage skills development. Or maybe you want to develop personally. Maybe both. Whatever your situation, for that to happen it’s important to have a simple plan in place.

Some basic skills are essential for all employees to know. For these, learning activities that target the skills that are specific to the job are required. Identify the skills and the activities that will teach them. Once the basic skills have been mastered, encourage further learning with a system in place that enables advancement with approved learning activities. Some skills may be specific to a certain field, while others may be general work skills. Learning activities can be workshops, reading books, online tutorials, or other resources.

Take the pain out of reviews

Performance appraisals tend to happen infrequently, and cover strengths and weaknesses, review projects and goals that have been completed, and look at future goals. A focus on learning may be a more effective solution. When you gain skills, you have targeted areas to improve, when you accomplish projects and goals, you are gaining skills. Development=learning. Any organization that encourages learning will benefit, and advancing learning will benefit any employee.

Reviews: how often?

• Basics of Effective One-on-Ones from Manager-Tools.com- weekly or bi-weekly.
• “First Break All the Rules”-Ask how often they’d like to meet. If it’s once every three months, make a note of that preference, today’s date, the date three months in the future for the next review, and schedule that date in your calendar. Do this each time, and you’ll have done quarterly reviews.

For a review:

1. The Individual Development Plan (see below) places responsibilty for learning on the individual.
2. A list of skills and learning activities to assist in planning for more learning provides the tools.
3. Two main questions are: What have you learned? and What do you plan to learn?

More questions to consider:

• What things have made your job more difficult, and what needs to be done in the next year to increase productivity? -Performance Management
• Self Assessment Thought Starters
• Brand Autopsy-Always Measure Your Comparable Job Performance

Individual Development Plan

1. Review job description (or an O*Net description) and list needed competencies.
2. Target skills to develop.
3. Determine your learning style.
4. Select a learning activity to use and enter it in the Planned Actions column.
5. Determine a target date.
6. Identify the support/authorization you need from others - supervisors, employers, coach, substitute.
7. After completing a learning activity, fill out a Transfer of Learning Worksheet

What	How	When	Who
Development Objectives	Planned Actions	Dates	Support

Recognize Accomplishments

Recognition and appreciation is the number one thing employees want. Catch them doing something right and let them know that you appreciate it-simple but very effective. Remember to also reward yourself for learning accomplishments.

Additional Reading

NFIB (National Federation of Independent Business) Business Toolbox: Performance Feedback| Employee coaching | Employee Orientation

The Learning Organization

“The Learning Edge” by Cal Wick

Thanks to the Minnesota Voluntary Certification Program for the Individual Development Plan and Transfer of Learning form.

Best Free Reference Web Sites

Find tried and true great sources of information at Best Free Reference Web Sites from Reference and Users Association of ALA. Among other things, this compilation led me to score.org, with how to define goals and get organized quick guide as part of their Start the New Year Right Kit.

Renovate Your Life With Craig

During the tagging frenzy, I learned from Tabs at Levnow Self-Help Tools about a blog by an Australian bloke with an amazing writing style: Craig Harper. I was immediately captivated, despite his focus on physical fitness, which is not my usual topic of choice! Take a look and you’ll find much that can apply to personal development of any sort. The Psychology 0f Weight Loss has wisdom for those searching for ways to pump up their productivity: we can have all the knowledge and tools we need, but if we don’t get the right attitude, ain’t nothing going to happen.

When I subscribed to his feed, the result was 60 articles imported into my feed reader. Then I was unable to mark them as unread, so I went through a marathon of reading as I didn’t want to miss a word. His posts cannot be described as short either, but they are very engaging and enjoyable reading. When I had to break to get some sleep, my computer remained on so I could continue the next day. When it was all over, I had clipped several posts and become quite a fan.

It could be his aussie accent, or maybe his no-nonsense stand about facing our fears and gaining clarity. He tells us Change is uncomfortable: If we want to learn and grow, we have to be willing to be uncomfortable. He tells us we don’t need resolutions, we need a revolution. So what are you waiting for? Go on and check out his site…scroll down the page a bit and be prepared to be confronted, challenged, and motivated.

Discovery of the Day

Most Popular Articles of 2006 at Harvard Business School Working Knowledge.

Projects

Some projects have what I think of as dependencies. (I believe David Allen would call these waiting for!) For example, my garage project depends on good weather, and has therefore shifted to the back burner. Sometimes we may not be able to proceed until someone else has accomplished something, or we get a reply to an email. The key question becomes: “When should I look at this project again?” and then making a reminder entry in your calendar.

Other important skills

• Recognizing a project that is one of the 20% that require planning beyond the next action.
• Recognizing a task that is too vague, and knowing how to make it specific.
• Recognizing an incoming task, and knowing where to put it in your system.
• Deciding what tools to use to capture ideas and manage projects.

It takes thought

• To make decisions regarding email, paper, information.
• To set priorities
• To plan projects and determine action steps

20% of projects require further planning

Project plans need not be complex, but the format you use should allow enough room to think in as much detail as you need. A sheet of paper, a page in a planner or a 4×5 index card may be sufficient. A folder to gather materials in may be needed for larger projects.

Additional Reading

• How to meet deadlines at ehow.com

• Productivity501 - Behance’s Action Method Process

Gift Tag

I didn’t really think it would happen. But Legal Andrew tagged me for the “5 things you didn’t know about me” meme. Sorry, I’m a little bit slow…This is really difficult, as I’ve got to have the dullest life imaginable! OK, here goes:

1. My first job was washing dishes at a beautiful camp in the Flint Hills. Maybe you know that already, but it’s my most interesting thing!

2. I’m basically positive but have a dark side. I see tragedy and sadness and sometimes it gets to me.

3. Starbucker of Ramblings From a Glass Half Full included me in his list of blogs he reads!!! This is so awesome-I feel like I’ve won an Oscar or something!

4. I was going to mention that I like the Gnarls Barkley song “Crazy” but somebody beat me to it. If you haven’t seen the video, it’s pretty amazing.

5. One significant thing I’ve learned this year is how important music is to me.

I’m tagging 5 people who provide great content: 1. Gleb Reys at Personal Development Ideas 2. Monica Ricci at Your Life. Organized. 3. Susan Sabo at Productivity Cafe. 4. John Richardson at Success Begins Today. 5. Levnow Self Help Tools.

Thank you to Andrew, and to all the wonderful people I’ve had the chance to meet and learn from this year. Thank you to all who stop by. You’ve been a beautiful gift.