Many problems result when we attempt to control that which is outside of our control.
- Emotional Competency-What You Can Change and What You Cannot
- “Control, Power & Influence: Six Basic Ideas to Consider” is the title of an article by C.S. Clarke, Ph.D.
- Part of the Serenity Prayer is about recognizing the difference.
Which of these things do you think is within your control?
- Thoughts
- Where we were born
- Actions
- Race
- Values
- Age
- Education
- Intelligence
- Feelings
- Birth family
- Wellness
- Health
- Ourselves
- Physical attributes
- Others
- Weather
- Traffic
There are three things we control-our own:
- thoughts
- feelings
- actions
In Rational Emotive Therapy Albert Ellis shows how our feelings come from the thoughts we think. Learn your emotional ABCs (pdf) or use this Worksheet.
Although we do not control others that does not mean that we are powerless.
Through what we say and do we may choose to:
- Share information
- Express our opinion
- Ask for what we want
- Pray
- Influence
- Persuade
- Set limits
- Recognize what is and is not love
Base your intentions on love. Adversity happens. It doesn’t build character, it reveals it. This doesn’t mean we can’t set goals and work towards them. It does mean that we have to accept that there will be unexpected obstacles in life that can affect our outcomes. The alternative is to drift aimlessly without making any attempt to shape your life.
Filed under: personal development
